Posted by
"Mind and Morals" Michael Coyne on Thursday, February 19, 2009 11:00:00 AM
With the election of a new chairman to the RNC, Republican
leadership promised to pay attention and put forth effort into all
opportunities to elect Republicans to congress. That means finding viable
candidates in all 435 districts.
Job one should have been the Special election taking place
this March to replace Rahm Emmanuel in the Illinois 5th. And
yet…nothing.
I’ve looked at the candidates and surveyed the area. The
front-runner is Patrick O’Connor, or, as I prefer to call him, Rahm Lite. Just
about every lawn and every small business’ window in the district has an
“O’Connor for Congress” sign. I’ve also seen a handful of shows of support for
Cook County Commissioner Mike Quigley, a man who I actually met once. I had to
shower for two hours straight and I still couldn’t get his slime off of me.
So I tried to look at how the supposedly revitalized RNC was
responding.
There are three “serious”—and I use the term very loosely—candidates
on the Republican side. First is our “front runner,” Tom Hanson. Hanson ran
against Emmanuel in 2008, but of course, he lost. Can anybody say “Adlai
Stevenson?” Looking at his campaign website, I cringed. It looks like it was
designed by a high school sophomore and has just about as many grammatical
errors on the front page as would be expected from a website designed by a high
school student from the Chicago Public School System. He made me want to throw
away the State Constitution and run myself. I’m sure I’d do better.
Our second-best is Rosanna Pulido, the State Director of the Minuteman
Project. You’re likely thinking what I am: is the Illinois GOP serious? She’s a
one-issue candidate with views on immigration that make Ann Coulter look
rational and moderate, running in a district where white people are considered
a “healthy minority.” If she gets over 4% of the vote, I think I’ll choke on
something. But at least her website looks more professional than Hanson’s, so
she gets to lose in style. By the way, on her front page, illegal immigration
is mentioned in four out of eight of her “headlines,” including sections on
“Defending Our Chicago Police Officers,” “Rosanna For Congress,” and two that
are actually called “Illegal Immigration.”
There are other candidates on the ballot, but you get the point. The
Illinois 5th should be our first real fight; a symbol that
Republicans are prepared to get back on the horse and that we really are more
competent than the shamed Blagojevich Democrats. Instead, we are displaying
ourselves as a party in ruin; why would Illinoisans vote for the party that can’t
run one viable candidate in one special election? This state will vote for
Democrats with the logic, “Well, they’re corrupt, but at least they’re smart
enough to occasionally accomplish something. These Republicans are boobs, but,
OK, honest boobs.” Wake up, Republicans! If this is a sign of things to come,
then our party is, indeed, finished.