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'Women's Issue?' What About Jack's Baby?

I just got out of a political policy class, in which the professor stroked one of my pet peeves: he referred to abortion as a “women’s issue.” If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you’ve likely read the rather lengthy piece that I previously wrote on abortion. But the entire time that I listened to this professor (who, for the record, I still like quite a bit) emphasize his point about policymaking by saying that a man had no reason to march for abortion, my thoughts drifted to my friend, Jack.

Jack (not his real name) had been seeing this girl for some time. The two appeared as close as any couple, and they seemed as happy as could be. And, as you can imagine, I was happy for them.

I knew that the couple was having sex, which is completely their business. I know that I am never in a position to judge or gauge a relationship unless I am a part of it. So, again, I just shrugged and was happy that Jack was so happy.

I should pause here to talk a little bit about Jack. Jack is a smart guy. This is the kind of guy that you go to for help. Any kind of help, really: homework, life, relationships, etc. He listens. And, because he is such a go-to kind of guy, it was flattering to me that he comes to me for the kind of advice and listening that he provides for others. Jack is not a particularly religious guy, but he does have a strong moral compass that constantly points north. He knows what he believes in, and he knows that there is a right and a wrong.

So one time, in spite of Jack’s responsibility and in spite of the efforts he and his girlfriend made to the contrary, everything that can go wrong did go wrong, and she got pregnant. I know Jack. His family doesn’t have a lot of money, but he would have embraced the challenge before him and accepted fatherhood. Jack would have gladly taken a full-time job and transferred to a community college, if need be, so that he could help to support the child he created. But there was a problem: the way that Jack found out about the baby.

Jack and his girlfriend were eating out when she gave him the news. The problem is with the news that she delivered. She didn’t tell him that she was pregnant; she told him that she had already had an abortion. This girl, without ever consulting the father of her child, had decided, for whatever reason, to “terminate her pregnancy” without the slightest show of concern for the father. Jack found out that he was a father only to discover that his baby had been killed before he even got a chance to love the child.

So, what, exactly could I tell Jack? Today, I dare you to try to tell him that abortion is a “women’s issue.” He explodes at the very mention of the argument. “You think abortion is a women’s issue?” he exclaims, “Tell that to my dead baby!”

Abortion is about more than just the woman who carries the baby. It’s also about the man who co-created the child. And, most importantly, it’s about the baby who does not get a voice, who has no one to advocate for him. It’s about that baby who doesn’t get a chance to draw his first breath. It’s about the baby who doesn’t get to cry. It’s about the baby who will never get to be held by someone who loves him.

It’s about Jack’s baby.

 

 

 

*Note: I have been given express permission to tell this story, however, to protect Jack’s privacy, his real name will not be released under any circumstances.

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